The WHYGAVS 2006 Review: April-June

And you thought it wasn't coming. The year in review gets fun now that we get into the games. Or something like fun.

April
I was excited for Opening Day, until McClatchy extended DL and the Pirates lost a winnable game. Oliver Perez was encouraging though.

It took a week, but we finally won a game.

The home opener was just about what was expected.

Beetlejuice made fun of the Pirates' owners. Hilarity ensued.

Jody Gerut fought the front office. He won. We didn't see or hear from him again all year. He's a Pirate, remember?

Craig Wilson's true identity is revealed.

On April 15th a Pirate starter made it into the seventh inning for the first time.

Craig Wilson became the first of several Pirates to win Player of the Week this year. If only that award meant something. Of course, he was only playing because Sean Casey had broken his back at that point.

Jim Tracy's early season craziness drove me to the brink of insanity.

Derek Bell. Crack pipe. Arrest. Karma... she is a bitch.

Albert Pujols tells Oliver Perez where to stick it. Shortly after that, his Pirate-crushing antics push me over the edge.

With the Pirates limping in at 5-18, I assigned theme music to all of the important figures in the organization. This prompted an unexpected Frank Zappa appreciation session in the comments.

I go to the Bucs/Phillies game, sit in awesome seats, and conclude that Ryan Howard is big. I am a genius.

April ends, the Pirates are playing poorly and I'm generally angry about it, though I do say "Jason Bay will heat up in May." That might've been the smartest thing I've ever said.

May
Zach Duke pitches a shutout against the Cubs. Despite my hopes that it is a sign he's regaining his 2005 form, we'll have to wait until August for that.

Lots of losing happened and rather than linking to a bunch of individual recaps, this is what drove me nuts.

Jim Tracy undeservedly defends Jeromy Burnitz, which leads to me digging through Fan Graphs to discover that through May 11th, Burnitz was literally the least valuable player in either league.

The Pirates waste a first inning grand slam from Jason Bay and lose to the Reds in awful fashion. I believe this is where Bay starts heating up.

The Chris Duffy saga begins.

I dedicate a ton of words to trying to prove Doumit is more useful at catcher than Paulino. Doumit's hamstring's tendency to seperate from the bone makes this a moot point now.

I go to Cleveland, see the Bucs and Indians play, and see Buck O'Neil throw out the first pitch on Negro League Appreciation Night.

The Freddy Sanchez thing started to become a real issue.

The Pirates and Astros play two games in one night. And not in double-header fashion. I'm talking about the 18-inning game. Jason Bay hits his ninth homer in nine games. That's crazy.

On the very next day the Pirates take a 4-0 lead into the ninth inning and lose 5-4 in 10. They fall to an unspeakably bad 16-34. And yet the worst is to come.

Right as Jason Bay starts to cool off, Jose Castillo catches fire. He hits the furthest ball I've ever seen in person at PNC Park.

June
I sing the praises of Jeff Manto and Jim Tracy for finally turning Jose Castillo around. Oops. My bad, guys.

The Irate Fans shirts debut at PNC Park.

Dave Littlefield says "If Freddy's going to hit .350, I think he should be playing third base." Little does he know that Freddy will actually hit .350 and become un-benchable.

Snell strikes out 10 Rockies. I dunno, just kind of seems like a big deal.

We draft Brad Lincoln and some other guys. The immediate general consensus after the draft was that every single player we drafted besides Lincoln was a reach. Beyond Mike Felix and Shelby Ford, this still may be true.

Acting off of a cue from Dejan's Q&As, I notice a striking resemblence that will shortly become something larger than life.

In the midst of the furor over one Benjamin Roethlisberger's failure to wear a motorcycle helmet, Chris Duffy finally reports to AAA.

I write a long post about how the Cardinals weren't all that great. Oops, again.

My penchant for wasting waaay too much space writing about Kip Wells continues.

We start losing...
One
Two
Three
Four
The wheels start to fall off...
Five (this was the worst loss of the year, bar none)
Six, where Kip Wells returns, I liveblog the awful results, and become a minor internet celebrity when Deadspin links to me. Thus, this is one of my most memorable posts ever.
Seven, which results in me ranting like never before.
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven

Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven.
(courtesy IMBD)

But wait, this one actually goes to twelve.
Er, thirteen.
Freddy finally ends it with one fell swoop. No wonder everyone loves that guy.

Between losses 11 and 12 I took a break from the losing to do the Pirates/Office Space comparison.

DL finally wins something, the Dodger Math Worst GM Award!

Oliver Perez finally gets demoted. Also, a man after my own heart makes fun of the Pirates new mascot.

The namesake comes back to Pittsburgh along with the Pirates last three managers. I am exicted to be attending the game.

I realize that I am writing 90% of this post in the present tense, though all of it has already happened. Oh, well. July-September tomorrow.