Royals 6 Pirates 4

I try to keep this site PG-13, which I'm sure all of you have noticed by now. It's not because I'm morally opposed to the f-word, because I'm not. It's just because I don't know who's reading this (besides the fact that I DO know that my mom and grandparents stop by from time to time) and I don't want someone to NOT read because of the language I use here. There's myriad other reasons that people can choose not to read this blog and that's fine with me, I simply don't want to limit my readership over something stupid like language.

That being said, it is getting tougher and tougher to write a PG-13 post about this baseball team. In fact, I could whip up a pretty good NC-17 post at this time that would probably make Loki blush at Ragnarok and still be holding back on how I feel about this baseball team. How do I feel about the Pirates after tonight, you ask? Perhaps a refreshing game of MadLibs will reveal the answer.

HOW IN THE BONDSING BONDS DO YOU BLOW TWO STRAIGHT FOUR RUN LEADS TO THE WORST BREAMING TEAM IN BASEBALL. WAIT... WE'RE THE WORST BREAMING TEAM IN BASEBALL. HOW CAN JIM TRACY WATCH IAN SNELL COMPLETELY RUN OUT OF GAS FIVE DAYS AGO, THEN SIT IN THE DUGOUT PLAYING WITH HIS TOM BRADY WHILE IT HAPPENS AGAIN? FOR BEN ROETHLISBERGER'S HELMETLESS HEAD'S SAKE, WHAT'S WRONG WITH SALOMON TORRES AND WHY DOES JIM TRACY KEEP PUTTING HIM IN KEY SITUATIONS? HOW CAN ANYONE WITH HALF A CAM BONIFAYING BRAIN THINK JOE RANDA IS AN ACCEPTABLE DH WHEN CRAIG WILSON IS ON THE BENCH? WHO THE STEVE AVERY IS AMBROIX BURGOS? DID ELMER NEIL O'DONNELLING DESSENS REALLY GET THE WIN TONIGHT? EVERYONE SAYS THE ROYALS ARE MADE UP OF OUR OTIS NIXONING CASTOFFS, BUT ARE THEY REALLY OTIS NIXONING CASTOFFS IF THEY KICK OUR ASSSES ALL OVER THE BASEBALL FIELD? AND HOW, IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, GOOD, AND RIGHT IN THIS WORLD, DOES DAVID FRANCISCO CABRERAING LITTLEFIELD STILL HAVE A JOB?

Whew. I feel better.