Runelvys Hernandez?

Tonight, in Game 1 of the epic battle for the basement of the National League Central, the Pirates and Astros are both fittingly starting cast-offs from other teams in the division. The Pirates get Phil Dumatrait off of the DL tonight while the Astros are sending Runelvys Hernandez to the hill. You may remember Hernandez as the guy that was a decent prospect for the Royals who got pretty fat, lost all ability to pitch, and bombed out with three different AAA teams last year, including Indianapolis. Alternately, you may know him as the guy that took Shawn Chacon's spot in the Astros rotation, prompting the Choke-Slam Heard 'Round the Internet. Either identity for Hernandez is acceptable, so long as you remember that he sucks a lot.

The Pirates in an early July battle for last place in the Central? Yeah, this feels about right. Honestly though, we should smack the crap out of the Astros. They were one of maybe two or three teams in the NL that I was sure we'd be better than this season and they're in an awful slide right now, spearheaded by "all-star" shortstop Miguel Tejada. And if you're going to this one, you might want to book off your entire night because remarkably long games at PNC Park between the Pirates and Astros are pretty much a staple of the summer at this point. Plan accordingly, just in case these two decide to go 14 tonight.