The Pittsburgh Pirate Non-Stars, pitchers version

Time for the pitchers. I appreciate everyone's feedback on yesterday's list in the comments. I'll be honest, this one was a little easier to do. I have a gut feeling that everyone might be able to agree on the pitchers a little more, but we'll see. Here goes nothing...

Starting Rotation

Kip Wells 2005- Kip has fallen a long way from his 2003 breakout season and I do hesitate to put Kip on here because I think he may bounce back, but what he did last summer cannot be ignored. Yeah, he lead the NL in losses (with 18), but he did have Roger Clemens-like run support. I'm looking more at the 5.09 ERA, the 23 gopher balls, the 99 walks in 182 innings, the 1.57(!) WHIP. Just a terrible year, not only for a guy that should've been our #2 starter, but just from a starter in general.
Fat Jimmy Anderson 2000-2002- I tried. I tried to narrow it down to Jimmy Anderson's worst year. It just wasn't possible. People talk about Pedro Martinez's first few years in Boston as the most dominant stretch by a pitcher in baseball history. Jimmy Anderson from 2000-2002 might have had the worst stretch in baseball history. In fact, Pedro and Jimmy might be complete opposites. Pedro is right handed, hard throwing, skinny, and good. Jimmy is left handed, soft tossing, fat, and awful. They do both have World Series rings from the '04 Red Sox, but that's a different story. Let's look at some numbers. He was 22-41 with a 5.24 ERA and a staggering 1.57 WHIP over that three year period. In 2001 alone he gave up 232 hits. That's not a typo. Quite possible the worst pitcher to ever regularly don a Pirates uniform and take the mound once every 5 days.
Mark Redman 2005- Let's break it down by months (record/ERA/WHIP). April- 1-2/2.78/1.16 (looking good), May- 2-2/3.43/1.07 (still solid), June- 1-2/4.01/1.35 (uh-oh...), July- 1-5/6.94/1.63 (there it goes), August- 0-3/7.63/1.75 (in flames now), September- 0-1/4.91/1.41 (good thing he got hurt). Let's all say it together now, Worst. Second. Half. Ever.
Ryan Vogelsong 2004- I like Vogelsong. I think he's gotten a pretty bad rap here and I think he could be a very good reliever. He was flat-out terrible as a starter in 2004. While somehow being allowed to make 26 starts in 31 appearences, he racked up a 6.50 ERA and a 1.62 WHIP while compiling a 6-13 record. Never, ever before has such a good spring training been prolonged into such a long and undeserved starting spot.
Pete Schourek 1999- In his only year with us, one in which we paid him $2 million, a ton of money in 1999, Schourek got beaten all over the park. I could cite all the stats, but I'm sure you all remember it. It was ugly.

The Pen

Mop-up- Ramon Martinez 2001- Ramon gets an honorary spot here for coming to Pittsburgh and saying he would help shore up our already pathetic rotation, then quitting after 4 bad starts.
RHP- Omar Olivares 2001- Just plain bad. He made some starts. He did some relief. He always sucked.
RHP- Brian Boehringer 2003-2004- Or "Blow-ringer" as I liked to call him. He parlayed a decent 2002 into a multi-year multi-million dollar contract and completely stunk up the pen for two years before blowing out his arm. Like Jimmy Anderson, I tried to pick one year, but they were both equally terrible. If you want me to be picky, I suppose 2003 was a little worse, but only because it was a full season.
LHP- Joe Beimel 2003- I know, everyone likes the guy because he went to Duquesne. Well, I go to Duquesne and this Duke gets no mercy from me. He just couldn't get guys out. How he stuck around for three years, I'll never know.
LHP- John Grabow 2004- Everyone (or at least everyone close to the team) seems to like "Grablow" and I can't figure out why. After a good start he slid nicely into the spot Beimel had left open after '03, the role of a lefty that can't get anyone out. It took Lloyd almost all year to figure out that Gonzo was better than him. He had another decent start with a terrible finish last year.
Set-up- Jose Mesa 2005- You all know about Mesa. There's only one reason he isn't the closer, and it's...
Closer- Mike Williams 2003- Seriously, whoever's idea it was to have a closer without a fastball really screwed up. And whoever had the idea to sign him after we'd already traded him away in 2001 should simply be shot. Sure, with some insane combination of smoke and mirrors he set the team saves record in 2002, but in 2003 he became the worst All-Star ever. Baseball-Reference doesn't keep blown saves as a stat, but let's just say that in '03 Mikey finished 33 games for us and only had 25 saves. He also had a 6.27 ERA and a 1.71 WHIP that year. As bad as Mesa was, I really think Williams was worse. On the plus side, just as I was vacationing in South Jerseyin 2003 he got traded to the Phillies and blew 2 games in 2 nights and drove Phillie fans insane in the process. My dad and I found it hilarious.

That closes up the list. You'll notice a lot of pitchers from 2001-2005. Maybe I just remember them better, but I looked at the numbers and they seem to bear me out on this one (good riddance, Spin). There were some tough cuts, but guys like Paul Wagner and Jeff D'Amico were really more hard-luck losers than they were bad pitchers (translation: they lost a ton of games but had ERAs under 5 and just weren't as bad as the starters that made the team, plus I remember Paul Wagner's near no-hitter).