Sometimes my mind wanders

Sometimes, when I'm reading the daily updates in the paper on Spring Training, my mind just kind of wanders. Today, it took me like three readings to get through the PG's story because my mind kept running away with Bob Nutting's quotes.

"We have a 15-year stretch that we can't dwell on," owner Bob Nutting said afterward. "For most of our history, the Pittsburgh Pirates have been a tremendous, respected franchise ...

... I mean, we won 79 games in a season twice in the 90s! That's a eleven games more than last year! If only this year's team could achieve at that level. And that's only what I remember! My respected sources within baseball tell me that the Pirates were quite a baseball team back in the 60s and 70s! How about that! Buying a franchise is great because the history comes with them! Expansion teams are for losers, because the fans have nothing to aspire to. These fans are still happy about a World Series win that happened almost 30 years ago! Man, owning this team is a sweet gig ...

with players who were proud to wear the uniform, who had an expectation of excellence. I believe we're in a position now to begin that execution."

And with that, a team full of assassins fell out of the sky. The players without a bat or ball in hand were quick victims of the execution. Ryan Doumit began fiercely hacking at the heads of the mysterious assailants and screamed, "So this is why we cut Castillo! His massive, looping swing sure would help here! This whole thing is a major buzzkill." Meanwhile, Ian Snell broke into a berserker rage, ripping the head off of one black-hooded assassin with his bare hands and eliminating more with sniper-like fastballs served from a distance. Still, baseballs and wooden bats were no match for the assassins and their mastery of the art of killing. Within minutes, all 63 invited players were felled, while Nutting and Frank Coonelly stared intently from the first base stands. "We lost 94 games with you, we can lose 94 games without you," growled Coonelly. The two men coldly laughed and walked off the field.

Yeah, like I'm the only person that does this.