Friday, May 12, 2006


With Hideki Matsui and Gary Sheffield out, the Yankees are looking for a corner outfielder. This is where the difference between an ideal world and the real world rear their ugly heads. In my ideal world, I'd imagine Brian Cashman getting a voice mail like this:

Hi Brian, Dave Littlefield here. I see that Matsui and Sheffield are going to miss some substiantial time this summer and I'm assuming that Boss of yours is going to want to see that hole filled with some kind of veteran. I understand you're going to go after Griffey first, but Krivsky isn't going to take anything from your shit filled farm system for a player like Griffey, so I just want you to know that we've got a left-handed corner outfielder here with over 300 career homers. He's kind of slumping now, but he's due to break out in a big way and maybe the thrill of a pennant race can bring that out in him. I'm not asking for much, maybe a low level prospect and some cash. Just something to think about, gimme a call back.
In reality, it will probably go something like this:
Hey, Brian, Dave here. Just got your e-mail about Craig Wilson, but let me warn you, that guy is one hell of a cancer. He drinks Pepsi and thinks he's funny. All he does is hit the ball, get on base, and help us win games. Plus, the fans actually seem to like this guy. That really defeats what me and the big bosses are going for here. You can have him if you want him, hell, we don't even want anything in return. Maybe a picture of me in front of a World Series trophy with a Red Sox hat on. Gimme a call back ASAP, I gotta get this jackass off my team. The number is 555-CHEAP.