Anger

After last night's game I was completely incapable of discussing the Pirates in terms that wouldn't manage to make a Tarantino movie look akin to Bambi. Then I read the Stats Geek's column today and I got even angrier. Between Joe Randa, Jeromy Burnitz, the McLouth/Duffy combo, and Cota, Humberto has the highest on base percentage, clocking in at a whopping .286. That's four positions of our lineup that on a regular basis are occupied by guys who get on base about 1 out of every 4 at-bats. Throw in the pitchers spot and it's half the lineup. I can't think of a sentence to describe that without using the f-word, so I'll just leave it alone. Using the Stats Geek's column about on-base percentage as a springboard, let's talk lineup. In fact, let's not talk lineup, let's demand lineup. I could care less how much money Littlefield sunk into these bums, every day we take the field without some variation of the lineup I'm going to propose below I'm going to consider another indictment of the entire organization and their ability to run a baseball team.

1. Freddy Sanchez, 3B- The guy can flat out play. He can hit, he can field, and he gets on base like it's his job (or more accurately, he realizes it's his job to get on base). Since last September 15th he's hitting .386 with 20 XBH (13 doubles, 1 triple, 6 homers) in 114 ABs. The fact that he doesn't play everyday in itself makes us the laughingstock of baseball.
2. Jack Wilson, SS- I was wrong and I'm happy. Jack's bat is back and it's not showing any real signs of going away.
   
3. Jason Bay, LF- Seriously, the guy's a superstar. I don't know how many people know it, but he is.
   
4. Craig Wilson, 1B- Greg Brown, if you're reading I think it's very important that you start referring to Craig as Thor on the air (you have my blessing, seriously). A guy nicknamed after the Norse god of Thunder with long hair and a badass mustache is someone that can provide Jason Bay with some more protection than this fruitcake can. End of story. Actually it's not. Dave Littlefield, if you're there, the Brad Eldred thing is getting worse every day. I just don't see it working out. Swallow your pride and if you haven't choked to death on it (and trust me, I pray to God that you do) sign Craig to a two year extension.
5. Ryan Doumit, RF- "But Pat, Ryan Doumit isn't a right fielder," you say. "Well, neither is Jeromy Burnitz," I say. "Touche," you say. If we're going to send him down for a rehab stint, stick him in right and see what happens. He can't be worse than Burnitz or Lawton, it's just not physically possible. If he is, stick him and first and put Craig in right field. After all, he tries to scoop everything behind the plate like a first baseman. Just get his bat in the lineup every day.
6. Jose Castillo, 2B- He's slumping now, but he'll hit. Also, he's young and I'd rather watch him than some washed up guy.
   
7. Ronny Paulino, C- This guy's the real deal. He's smooth behind the plate and he can hit a ton.
8. Young, fast, toolsy guy, CF- I'd prefer McLouth but his D isn't quite up to snuff when compared with Duffy. Really, either one can go here.

Everyone tells me Cota is a decent backup, so he can stay as a backup catcher. I don't see it, but whatever. I don't see his value as Oliver Perez's personal catcher either, as the only thing he's managed to do in the past two years is keep Ollie from literally spontaneously combusting. Crappy pitchers don't get personal catchers, end of story. Mike Edwards can pack his bags to let this happen and I'll try not to get too broken up over it. And while we're at it, we can take Jose Hernandez back behind the shed we needed to take Mesa behind last year. Say it with me Jim, just because a guy has good career numbers against someone doesn't mean he'll reproduce them AT THE AGE OF THIRTY SIX. Randa, Burnitz, whoever doesn't start between Duffy and McLouth, and DeCaster round out the bench.

Alright guys, I'm waiting...