Where have you gone, Andy Van Slyke?

I'm pretty sure this is how this went down: Jim Bowden: So, uh, Omar. You looking to trade Lastings Milledge? You know toolsy outfielders with big upside turn me on more than a prospective threesome with Jessica Biel and Scarlett Johnanson. Omar Minaya: Well, we do need a catcher and maybe an outfielder to take Lastings' place ... Bowden: You mean like Brian Schneider and Ryan Church? Minaya: Done and done. Bowden: Holy f$%#&%$* s#!t are you kidding me? I was just... places his hand over the receiver, yells to Assistant GM Mike Rizzo Hey Mike, you were wrong! I'm not the dumbest GM in baseball, Omar's going to send us Milledge for Schneider and Church! takes hand off of receiver. You know what Omar? Minaya: Dude, I could totally hear you talking to Mike Rizzo. Is that what you really think of me? Bowden: If I say yes, is the trade off? Minaya: Maybe. Bowden: Well then, no. I think you're a genius. Ryan Church is solidly average and that will be a big deal, espe...

The Pittsburgh Pirate Drafting Philosophy. A (Probably Fictional) Play The Scene: It is 1999. Mickey White and Cam Bonifay are in the Pittsburgh Pirate War Room discussing strategy. A heated argument breaks out. Bonifay: I think sticking a needle in my eye is a good idea. White: I want to eat ice cream. Bonifay: Ice cream will make me fat. I could have a heart attack and die. White: Yeah but sticking a needle in your eye will hurt like hell. Bonifay: Sticks a needle in his eye. White: That's it. I'm finishing the draft. It is now 2000. The setting and characters are the same White: Cam, didn't sticking that needle in your eye hurt like crazy? Bonifay: Why yes it did, Mickey. Thanks for asking. White: So why not try the ice cream this year? Bonifay: That sounds like a good idea. I think I'll... sticks a needle in his eye. White: F%$&! I'm finishing the draft again. I hate you. It's now 2001. Bonifay is gone but White remains. White: Finally, I can...

This article from Sportsline.com has been getting passed around the internet a lot lately as it's the rare national article that repeats all of the "FIRE LITTLEFIELD" sentiment that gets heard around these parts so much. Littlefield is terrible at his job, but when he gets axed I get the feeling that he's just going to be the fall guy for an entire organization that is rife with problems. This headline at the new Pirates blog Buccowire made me imagine what's going to happen this spring when the Pirates start 4-20... ( note- I've tweaked this slightly since I posted it, mostly to make it rhyme better and help the flow ) Robert Nutting : Times have changed The fans are getting pissed. They don't obey the spin. And they scream and yell and hiss. Jim Tracy : Should we blame McClatchy? Kevin McClatchy : Or blame that Jim Tracy? Ogden Nutting : Or should we blame those guys on the TV? Robert Nutting : No, blame Littlefield! Blame Littlefield! With his beady l...

The off season can get a little boring between the end of the season and the lighting of the hot stove, so let's have some fun today. In the spirit of the Uni Watch , let's have a stroll through the history of the Pirates' logo and uniforms. If you're not into this kind of thing, that's fine. You can just skim through to what you like or skip it entirely. But I'd be lying if I said this stuff didn't fascinate me for no reason whatsoever, so let's take a look at it. Both the Baseball Hall of Fame's uniform database and Chris Creamer's directory of Pirate logos at sportslogos.net start at 1900, so we'll start there. From 1900 through 1935, the Pirates' logo was simply a variety of P's. Some were quite plain , while others were fancy in the Detroit Tigers old English D style . For two years, in 1908 and 1909, they wore a PBC (Pittsburgh Baseball Club I can only assume) monogram. The monogram was worn on the sleeves of the 1909 World...