Pirates and Braves: Not quite a liveblog

Writing about baseball games is why I started this blog. Being a science major and all, I can crunch numbers pretty well and being a smartass and all, I can synthesize news reports and make snarky comments about them. But the real reason I write this blog is to talk about baseball that is played on the field. That means that today is a good day: the Pirates and Braves are on ESPN. I'm not going to liveblog it because it's an exhibition game. There's only so much of it that I care about. What follows is kind of a stream of consciousness of the things that I cared about during the game.

John Kruk thinks we have a legitimate shot at the division. Steve Phillips is also here. Seriously, how do I not have their jobs by now?

John Smoltz vs. Chris Duffy. I take Smoltz every time.

Don Kelly, aka Neil Walker's brother-in-law, can't be over 13 years old.

Somehow Ian Snell still looks like a badass in those stupid spring uniforms and caps. I think Ian Snell might be my favorite Pirate. It doesn't hurt that he looks pretty good for his first start of the spring today. He did a nice job with Andruw Jones in the first.

Adam LaRoche forgot his jersey today. He's wearing a nameless #96. John Smoltz gave him a hard time about it.

Holy shit, Jose Castillo really does look thin. I think I would be able to tell him and Ronny Paulino apart just from waist size now.

Either Smoltz was in mid-season form or we were in Pirate form at the plate. He only gave up one hit in his two innings, a misplayed triple off the bat of Mike Ryan.

I've never heard of our second baseman today. Garabito? Whatever. Did I mention Jose Castillo is at third? Don't read too much into it though. Whoever Garabito is, he's cut. Andruw Jones gunned him out at the plate.

Tony Armas Jr. looks a little... how do I put this tastefully? Ronny Paulino-ish. He looks like he's throwing 89 mph grapefruits at the plate. I do not know how the Braves failed to score on him. This is not encouraging.

If Luis Matos makes the team over Nate McLouth, I will be angry. Just throwing that out there.

John Kruk makes me stupider.

Holy crap. In the fourth inning with a runner on second, Jose Castillo reached out and blooped a low and away 2 strike pitch down the right field line for an RBI double. I'm not even kidding when I say the sun just clouded over and I fear for my life (even though I'm watching the game on delay). He does manage to get doubled off second though. The sun is out again.

ESPN is showing the Sid Bream play. I hate ESPN. Gary Thorne: "And the Pirates have not had a winning season since then. That is a loooong time." I don't usually pretend to speak for all Pirate fans, but I think I do when I say, "Go f&$# yourself Gary Thorne. We know how long it is."

By some bizarre happening, my DVR just kind of skipped 40 minutes of the game between Franquelis Osoria giving up a homer to Jeff Francouer and Bryan Bullington showing up on the mound in the 7th. I'm surprised to see Bullington pitching anywhere. Also, I'm angry because it means I missed Brad Eldred taking Mike Gonzalez deep. Stupid Comcast. I am not pleased.

JOSE K! JOSE K!

Romulo! is huge. I mean, I knew the guy was tall, but he's also huge. Like Brad Eldred size. On the mound. He takes the loss in this one on a bad throw from shortstop in the 10th. Not that it matters.

I think my baseball fever is back, my friends.