The Pickle

Everyone needs to check out this week's Sports Pickle (for anyone that doesn't know, it's kind of like a sports version of the Onion written by DJ Gallo). On the right hand side in the "Stuff You May Have Heard" column about halfway down (and it's actually a column with no direct link) there's the headline: "Pirates front office refusing to let increased payroll keep team out of last place."

There's also some fantastic fake quotes such as:

“Our owner, Kevin McClatchy, has loosened the purse strings in hopes of making this franchise a winner,” said Littlefied, “but it’s my job to look at the big picture and what I want to do is bring this team a record 16 consecutive losing seasons. Sure, I could try to make smart moves and push the team towards wild card contention, but an 82 or 85-win season isn’t memorable. Sucking for two decades though? That’s the stuff of legend.”

and

“This franchise is flush with young talent, and it’s so close to blossoming I was worried it would push us over that dreaded 80-win plateau,” said Littlefield. “That’s why I brought in a bunch of veterans whose mediocrity is established and therefore have no threat of improving while they’re with us. Plus, we’re overpaying all of them so there’s no way they’ll not be in the lineup. All that guarantees us another season of 70-something wins. And then we’re that much closer to immortality and popping the champagne.”

And you guys thought I was cynical. If you've got the time, make sure to read the whole thing.