The Derby running diary

8:07- Creed without Scott Stapp still sounds like Creed. Learn a new song guys. And why did I hear Johnny Damon's girlish voice and see Mike Piazza holding drum sticks. I want baseball, not music, and not baseball players pretending to play music.

8:10- They're really overdoing this "International" thing. How can they have a derby and not have Pujols (who wanted to be in it) or Tejada in it? My prediction for the night: Ortiz, Texiera, Jones, Abreu, Lee, Rodriguez, Bay, Choi.

8:13- As per the above comment, this is a weak derby lineup (but it has a Bucco!) in a cavernous ballpark. This could be low on entertainment.

8:16- This park doesn't favor righties at all. Bay may have to utilize that opposite field power. I despise Joe Morgan, but he picks Ortiz and Texiera as well.

8:18- They're using the HR Derby equivalent of the "money ball" tonight. Each homer with 9 outs gives money to charity.

8:22- Abreu's up first. He's very picky and hitting the ball hard, but this park is ginormous.

8:23- No park can contain 463 fotters though.

8:26- Holy crap! 517 on homer #10 for Abreu with only 4 outs. He'd better save something for the next round.

8:38- Bobby Abreu is a man among boys. He just launched 24 homers, breaking the record by 9! He actually hit the ball so hard his bat broke IN THE SWEET SPOT. Poor Jason Bay has to follow him. That was really impressive.

8:41- Bay's up. I just hope he gets 1.

8:45- Nope, none for poor Jason, not that I'm exactly surprised. He looked pretty nervous up there, as he just told Sam Ryan. He hit lots of balls hard, too bad this isn't the Doubles Derby.

8:52- Carlos Lee's up next. Hopefully the Central will get some long balls tonight.

9:03- Lee hits 11, including 3 money/charity balls. Joe Morgan and Chris Berman are going to drive me insane. I guess it doesn't matter how big the ballpark is when every homer is 450 feet. Someone should check these bats. Choi's up next, he's got a pretty big looping swing, but if anyone will match Bay's goose egg, it'll be Choi.

9:06- Choi doesn't look great, but he just snuck one over the yellow line in left. And another to center. They're still marvelling over Bobby Abreu, as am I.

9:09- Choi hits 5. Before seeing Abreu and Lee I would've told you that would be a good number to see tonight.

9:15- How exactly is Pudge a "hometown hero" in Detroit? He's only been there for two years. He only has six homers this year, I'm guessing the Detroit fans will be disappointed by their "hero".

9:18- I'm wrong again, Pudge is launching them like crazy, 4 homers with 4 outs.

9:22- Pudge hits 7. So far the only real highlights are Abreu and, as always, Sam Ryan.

9:24- OBSCURE EX-PIRATE ALERT! OBSCURE EX-PIRATE ALERT!!! Current Red Sox third base coach and former Bucco Dale Sveum is pitching to Texiera.

9:28- Sveum must've been no good. Teixiera hit two, bringing the total on the night for North America to 2. We're getting crushed by Central America and Asia. Europe is up next since Jones is technically hitting for Netherlands, which governs Curacao (proud home of Randall Simon, sausage mauler extrodinaire).

9:35- Ortiz is up. I love this guy, despite my strong loathing of the Red Sox.

9:50- Ortiz launched 17 and some where REAL deep. Who'dve thought the two best rounds ever would come at Comerica? I've still got Ortiz to win this thing.

9:56- Jones hits a homer. Bay is the only goose egg. I honestly don't think he even noticed because he's so excited to be in the All-Star Game.

10:00- Jones only hits 4, Abreu, Ortiz, Carlos Lee, and Pudge advance. Lee and Abreu were the clear highlights of the first round. Every other country out homers the US and Canada combined. Since the first round went 2 hours and Chris Berman is doing Dick Vitale impersonations, this is the final entry in the Home Run Derby running diary.